We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
