He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
40s are totally the cure
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize