I hate your face
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
hell yes lets make some ravioli
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
