her vagine was all disorganized.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
Semen is not good for contacts.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize