you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
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