david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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