I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
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