why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
well most of my day revolves around power hour
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
