Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize