Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
Randomize
