found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
of course. lets lasso hookers.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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