the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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