I wish I could teleport
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
