k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
