porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize