and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
