He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
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