turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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