Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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