party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So much Jack, so little girl.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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