Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
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