u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
