She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
