Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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