I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
