Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
