Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
