Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Randomize
