talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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