Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
