Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
