Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i think i just lost a toe
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
