it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
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