ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
