I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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