We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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