She's JV to your varsity
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Randomize
