Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
