i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize
