this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize