WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
