If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
Randomize
