remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Bring me that man meat
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
