Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
NoShamevember. You game?
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize