thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
