Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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