Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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