Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
