you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
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