found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
