College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
