I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
