I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
