I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I have peed in a lot of sinks
Randomize
