i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
