You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
