apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
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