just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
