An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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