Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
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