She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
