So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
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