I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
