So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
you would pick up someone in the library
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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