Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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