Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize